How do you make new friends? Have you got any tips? Share them with others here.
Read Her Finland’s article on befriending Finns and complete the sentences below.
You can read the article here:
Here is a formula that could be useful when trying to make friends in Finland. These are, of course, generalisations, but they might still provide you with something to keep in mind when mingling with the Finns. They might also entertain you, which never hurts!
Generally speaking, small talk is not as common in Finland as it is in some other countries. If you talk to a Finn hoping that they will naturally continue the conversation, you might be in for a surprise. Everyone’s an individual, but you will generally me more successful if you ask open-ended questions that go a bit deeper. Open-ended questions can’t be answered with a single Yes or No. However, if a Finn does reply rather bluntly, don’t be offended – it’s considered normal and polite in Finland.
Finns usually speak great English, which makes everyone a possible friend. Better yet, if you want to learn a bit of Finnish yourself! You can also roll in my free Finnish class and I’ll help you! Keep in mind, that Finns may be quite self-conscious about their so-called “bad English” which may even make them too nervous to talk. You can take the initiative and start with simple topics in order to ease them in. Talking about the weather is quite the cliche, but it’s nevertheless a common topic in Finland. Try mentioning the weather, you may be surprised!
Friendships are generally built over time in Finland, and usually it doesn’t happen overnight. You should try to be patient and start off by greeting a fellow Finnish student every day, for example. That will help you break the ice. Keep in mind, that personal space is a thing in Finland, and people might not respond well to hugs from a stranger, for example.
Many Finns are fine with silence. If there are pauses or breaks in a conversation, don’t freak out. In Finland, it’s perfectly natural. You’ll soon get the hang of the relaxed, laid-back style of the Finns.
Don’t get personal too early. You can, for example, make questions more general by asking about the culture rather that the individual’s personal life. If you are just getting acquainted and want to know about a Finn’s family, you can ask questions like What’s the average family like in Finland? instead of inquiring about their family in particular. You should also keep in mind that a How are you? is not considered a greeting in Finland. Instead, you’ll get a full answer, which may turn out more interesting than you thought!
If you ask something, remember the answers and refer to them in your future run-ins. If your Finnish-friend-to-be is planning a trip to Thailand, for instance, you can ask her about her preparations or travel plans the next time you meet. Being considerate is always helpful, and especially so in Finland.
If a Finn strikes up a conversation with you, you’ve already come a long way! Pat yourself on the back and enjoy the conversation. At some point, you can suggest that you do something together. Doing sports is a great example, some popular choices being walking, jogging, and skiing. Playing badminton or tennis will probably sound good to many ears as well, but getting a cup of coffee together will also work. Finns generally feel more comfortable with other people if there is something “real” to do, which makes casual sports a great option. Funnily enough, meeting for a cup of coffee is considered more “personal” in Finland than in many other countries.
The last, and probably the most important, rule to remember is that like everyone else, every Finn is an individual. Many newcomers find Finnish culture and social life strange at the beginning, but don’t get discouraged! The Finns are a warm, kind people, and you’ll surely find many friends while staying in the country.
Have you got any Finnish friends? If yes, how have you made friends with them? If not yet, would you like to make some? What tip do you think you’ll use and what else would you like to add?
If you’re a Finn, to what extent do you agree with these tips? What else would you like to add?
Challenge: Making friends on social media.
Join a public/closed group on social media to make a new friend and chat/call with them. Complete as many of the challenges listed below as possible and share your spoken/written conversations or pictures as evidence.
Alternatively, if you’re not a fan of making friends online, try making a new one in your own way and share your experience here.
Choose one of the tasks below.
Share the link of your writing/recording here.